Why You Should Take A Break

I recently wrote about the importance of taking some time for self reflection during the season.

It’s important to take a step back and give yourself an honest assessment of how the season is going so far.

What is working?

What isn’t working and can be improved up?

While this is an incredibly valuable exercise to follow through with, there’s also another component that is incredibly valuable for success.

Taking a break.

While it sounds simple in theory, I think for some players and coaches, it’s a tough task to follow through with (myself included).

The truth is we all need to take breaks during the year where we forget about hockey for a day or two during the season.

Spend time with your family and friends and get out and experience life outside of hockey (yes, such a thing does exist, haha).

It’s important that we all do things like this for a couple reasons.

1. It’s a way to clear your mind from the stresses that come with playing a competitive sport. For players, there’s the rigors of workouts, practices, and games. And on top of that there’s the mental strain of making sure that you’re ready to play and perform on a day to day basis. For coaches, it’s a way to escape the daily challenges of managing 20 plus players and personalities on a day to day basis. To go along with managing the scheduling and performance of your team.

2. It allows you to change the routine and gain some perspective on the game. We’ve all heard the saying that “distance makes the heart grow fonder?” The same is true with hockey. It’s amazing what a few days away from the rink will do for you. For many, you’ll start to miss the rink and the routine after a few days and by the time you need to get back to work, your reinvigorated and can’t wait to get back on the ice and get back around your team.

So as the Christmas holiday rolls around, I hope you all get to take a brief break from hockey and spend some quality time away from the game.

Don’t worry, you’re not going to miss out or fall behind from taking a few days off.

If anything, you’ll come back with a new sense of energy and excitement after the holidays, and honestly, that’s incredibly valuable to a team.

So enjoy time with your family and friends and make 2019 the best year yet.

P.S. As a way of practicing what I preach, I will be taking the entire next week off from posting. I wish you all a happy and healthy holiday season and can’t thank you enough for the continued support of the past year.

Midseason Self Reflection

With the Christmas holiday right around the corner, it always seems like this is a natural stopping point to relax, get away from the game for at least a couple days, and evaluate yourself and your season so far.

As I have learned over the years, self reflection is another one of those invaluable tools that every player should utilize when possible.

It’s easy to get caught up in the grind of a season.

The workouts, the practices, the travel, the games… it truly can become a grind at times.

This also can lead to us forgetting about why we love the game and why we love getting on the ice everyday.

Gaining some perspective can help deal with this.

Like I’ve talked about on this blog before, taking a step back and having some perspective on the situation can make you appreciate everything so much more.

The time spent with friends and teammates, the competition, the freedom of being on the ice, and the camaraderie of being part of a team that’s all working towards the same goal are just a few of the things that make hockey so great.

And it’s important that we remind ourselves about these things from time to time.

So as the holiday season rolls around and you get a few days away from the rink, sit back and reflect on the season so far.

What has gone well?

What has gone poorly and can be improved upon?

What can you do to help your team be more successful?

And, what can you do, or continue to do, to be a great teammate?

I think if you can ask, and answer, these four questions honestly that it will give you some perspective on your hockey season and hopefully get you reinvigorated for the second half.

Enjoy the break, enjoy the process, and remember that every day is filled with new opportunities. And, it’s our job to make the most of every opportunity.

Greatness Is A Choice

I think it’s easy to say that certain people are born with special talents and abilities.

It’s also easy to tell yourself that you’re not one of those people.

I think hockey players can fall into this same way of thinking.

That certain players were born to play the game because of their size, hand eye coordination, or natural speed.

But, I don’t believe that to be totally true.

The truth is, I think we’re all born with unique natural strengths and weaknesses and it’s our job to develop and work at them to be great.

Sidney Crosby is always a great example for this because I feel like the phrase ‘he was born to play hockey’ gets used a lot on him.

And while I completely agree that he has some amazing natural abilities, I don’t think that is the reason he is so great.

People talk about the size and strength of his legs and core, his vision and instinct for the game, and his amazing hand eye coordination and skill. And while all of those are true and amazing, he wasn’t just born with most of them.

I will give you that the way his brain processes the game is at a higher level than most. Just like for an expert accountant, they might be able to analyze a Profit/Loss sheet quicker and more intelligently than most. It just makes sense to them and I will agree that that is an advantage.

But, if you look at everything else, it comes down to his hard work, sacrifice, commitment to his craft, and his drive and desire to be the best.

That ultimately is where his greatness comes from.

And I personally think that is why greatness is a choice.

I think we’re all born with a set skills.

What we choose to do with them is up to us and ultimately determines our level of greatness.

From a hockey standpoint, how great do you want to be?

What are you willing to sacrifice?

How hard are you willing to work?

What kind of pain, suffering, and heartache are you willing to go through to get what you want?

I think these are the real questions that we all need to ask ourselves.

It’s easy to say that someone else is faster than you. Or it’s easy to say that someone else handles and shoots the puck better than you.

It’s easy to make those excuses and chalk it up to that player is just naturally better.

Instead, I challenge you to think about it the other way.

If you want to be a better skater, then ask yourself the questions above.

How great of a skater do you want to be?

What are you willing to sacrifice in order to be a great skater?

How hard are you willing to work to improve your skating?

And, are you ready to go through the pain, suffering, and disappointment that will inevitably come along the way on the journey to improve your skating?

Those are the questions you need to be asking yourself.

Crosby didn’t just become the best player in the world. He WORKED to become the best player in the world.

I guarantee he’s sacrificed a ton to get where he’s at.

And that doesn’t mean that every player is destined to play in the NHL, but every player has some level of greatness in them. It simply comes down to how bad you’re willing to work to find out what it is.

So stop comparing yourself to everyone else and thinking about the things you don’t have. Instead, start focusing on all the amazing things you DO have.

3 Ways To Work Through A Slump

When most people hear slump, they think about a scoring slump.

And rightfully so, as that’s what gets talked about the most. And that’s also easiest to measure. I mean if you haven’t scored a goal in six games, it’s pretty easy to measure that and call that a slump.

But slumps come in all shapes and sizes.

Teams slump by being inconsistent and losing games or just not clicking the way they know they can. Goalies get in slumps and fight the puck. And even players, whose job is not solely based around points, get into slumps with their play and decision making.

So how do you work through that as a player?

I think there are a lot of different approaches that players and teams can go through to get over a slump, but here are a few things that have always worked for me.

1. Simply The Game - As I have said numerous time on here, at its core, hockey is a simple game. Trying to complicate it usually only leads to frustration. So instead of trying to make that extra stickhandle, shoot the puck. Or instead of trying to make that extra move, get the redline and dump the puck to a spot that your team has a chance to get it. I’m a huge believer that players should, and need, to be creative on the ice. I think that’s the way the game was meant to be played. However, when you simplify the game, you’re getting back to your foundation. For most players, when you get back to your foundation, and keeping the game simple, you’re allowing yourself more opportunities for continuous success. And confidence is built through success.

2. Focus On Building Your Confidence - While I think we should be working on our confidence everyday (hockey player or not). It’s even more important when you’re battling through a slump. Slumps create doubt and put fear in the foreground of your mind. So how do you combat this? Start by finding small moments of success and continuously building upon those. In other words, instead of focusing solely on scoring a goal, find success in making a tape to tape pass, or winning a one on one battle on the wall, or having an active stick and deflecting a pass. If you can have the mindset to focus on those little instances of success, you’ll soon find that your confidence should continue to grow. Small instances of success can lead to a gigantic growth in confidence.

3. Communication - While this may seem a bit odd, I think it makes a huge difference. When things aren’t going the way we want, the easy thing to do is shut down, stay quiet, and simply hope things turn around. Communication is vital all the time in hockey, but especially when things aren’t going well. Think about it, how much easier is it to play hockey when your teammates have great communication? WAY EASIER. I always loved playing with guys that talked a lot, and the truth is that the game is way too fast to not be helping each other out. That little heads up from your goalie or D partner can be the difference between you getting buried in the corner or you making a quick smart decision. Like I said above, one of the problems with slumps is that we start to think too much, and instead, need to simplify the game. Communicating does this, it simplifies the game. It makes decisions easier and gives you the feeling of support as a player. Plus, the added bonus to the whole thing is that it not only helps your game but also helps your teammates.

While I’m sure there are other tips and tricks out there to help you work through a slump, these three things all follow my big rule of focusing on things that are in your control. And all three of the items listed above are in your power to control.

You can simplify the way you play, you can focus on building your confidence, and you can definitely control how much you communicate on the ice, on the bench, and in the locker room.

The last piece I will leave you with is that you have to understand that slumps are part of the game. It doesn’t mean that you have to like it, but you have to know that it’s part of the process and everyone goes through it at one point or another.

Don’t stop believing in yourself and your abilities and make sure you remember what it is that has made you successful as a player. So dig in, work hard, and break through that slump.

How To Bounce Back From A Bad Shift

Have you ever had a bad shift in a hockey game?

Of course you have.

We all have.

What do you do to bounce back from it and be ready for the next one?

Regardless of what happened, it could have been a missed pass for an easy goal, or maybe you got walked on a 1 on 1 and the guy scored, or you didn’t control the rebound and it led to an easy tap in goal, we’ve all been there.

I know from personal experience that there’s no worse feeling then skating back to the bench knowing that your mistake cost your team a goal.

But the reality is that it happens to everyone.

Even the best in the world have shifts where they make mistakes that ultimately leads to the puck ending up in their own net, or not in the opposing teams net.

How you respond to those situations, and approach each shift in general, is really what makes the difference.

I’m sure you’ve heard people in hockey, and other sports, talk about being even keel.

Never too high and never too low.

And it’s true, the best players are able to control their emotions and take the good with the bad and know that they’re only as good as their next shift and that’s where their focus needs to be.

So that leads to the question of how do you become more consistent shift after shift?

While trying to stay even keel, never too high and never too low, is great in theory, it doesn’t exactly help with the process of actually doing that during the game.

One thing that worked for me as a player, and has helped numerous other players that I have played with, coached, and instructed is something I call mental reminders.

A mental reminder is a word or phrase that acts as a trigger for your mind. When you see that word, or phrase, it instantly reminds you that you need to focus on the things that you can control and that make your game successful.

I like to use the example of a former teammate who used to write “FTB” (meaning For The Boys) on the handle of each one of his sticks.

When I asked him about it, he said that one thing he always struggled with as a player was that if he felt like things weren’t going well he would try and do it all himself. It wasn’t that he was a bad teammate, in fact, he cared so much that he wanted to do things himself to try and lift his teammates back up. We all know (at least I hope) that trying to do it all yourself isn’t the answer.

So he used the “FTB” as his mental reminder that he was there “for the boys” and that he needed to trust them and work with them to get things back on track.

That was his trigger word and what worked best for him.

Now obviously everyone is different, and each player should come up with something that works specifically for them and helps trigger the right mind frame.

A few other examples that I know have worked for people are:

• SKATE - used by a former player who knew that if his feet were moving he was making smart decisions and good plays. (And I’m assuming, as you can see from the picture above, SKATE is also used by Dylan Larkin.)

• BELIEVE - this player used that to remind himself to believe in himself and trust his abilities.

• TRUST - this player used TRUST to remind himself to trust the process and not get frustrated if everything didn’t go his way all the time. Also, to trust his teammates and know they have his back.

• NO FEAR - this player was small in stature but wanted to make sure he never played that way. He used this reminder as a way to play ‘big’ and not be scared of playing against bigger players.

Like I said, there are an infinite number of possibilities. And as a player, you need to figure out what is going to work best for you.

I encourage anyone who uses this to put it in a place that has easy access and you’ll see it between every shift. So someplace like the handle of your stick, the inside cuff of your glove, or even the cuff of your jersey sleeve.

That way, every time you come off the ice after a shift you’ll see your reminder. Then you can take 10 seconds or so to refocus yourself and clear your head and be ready for your next shift.

I found this to be incredibly useful as a player.

Whether things went good or bad in the shift before, it was a way to clear my head and get refocused on the game.

Like I talk about all the time, consistency is one of the most valuable assets you can have as a player.

This is another tool that you can add to your game that will help you do that.

And remember, every shift is a new opportunity to do something positive for your team. Make sure you’re ready for it.

What You Should Focus On

Personally, I'm not a huge social media person. I have all the accounts and use them occasionally, but it's usually for finding up to date information rather than post about myself. 

This is especially true for Twitter, for me. It's a great way to follow other coaches, learn from them, and stay up to date on highlights and other current events going on in the world. 

I came across a post a few weeks back that perfectly summed up my beliefs and a lot of what I talk about on this blog, focusing only on things that you can control. 

The picture above sums this up perfectly. 

It's almost like a two step process you should be asking yourself when thinking about things.

1. Does it matter?

2. Can you have any control over it?

If you can answer "YES" to both of those questions then it's worth your time, effort, and energy. 

On the flip side, if you answer "NO" to either one of those questions, then stop wasting your energy.

I see this a lot in hockey these days. Players get so caught up in so many different things and worrying about so many different things that they lose focus of what really matters. 

Ice time is the first example that immediately comes to mind for this. 

The reality is that if you're playing, and you're competitive, that you probably want more ice time. Even the guys that are on the top line and play a ton have thoughts about how they think they should get an additional shift or two. Trust me, I've been there as a player too... 

With that being said, if we use the diagram and ask ourselves the questions above that should help us come to an answer:

Does it matter? Yes

Do we have control over it? No

So that should lead us to the conclusion that you need to stop wasting so much energy thinking about how you're being short shifted and focus on the things that you can control. 

Now, I know that there are probably people that disagree with that last paragraph and would say that as a player you do control your ice time. 

In a sense you're right, in that most decisions about ice time are earned based on merit. In other words, if you play really well, have a good attitude, are a good teammate, are effective, and are producing for your team you're probably going to play more. 

I would agree with that. However, you still don't have complete control over your shifts and your ice time. That's your coaches job. 

You may be lighting it up and having a great game, but your coach might like a specific match up later in the game and decide to use someone else for a particular situation. Ultimately, it's your coaches responsibility to do what they feel is best for your team. 

Like I said earlier, this is just an example that I see all the time as a coach. 

In my experience, the best players are the ones that are able to identify the things that really matter and focus all their energy into that. 

Use the simple process outlined in the picture above and watch yourself become a more consistent player. 

The Truth About Confidence

Confidence is another one of those terms we hear about all the time in hockey.

And rightfully so. 

It's absolutely vital for players and teams to have it in order to be successful. I mean it makes sense, if you're playing well you're playing with confidence, and on the flip side, if you're struggling you're probably lacking confidence. 

While none of that is earth shattering to any of you, there is one thing that really amazes me about people and their confidence and the way they think about it. 

Confidence, at its core, is solely individual based. 

In other words, no one can give you confidence.

As a coach, I can sit and talk with a player everyday and tell them how great I think they are, but unless they actually believe it, they won't be confident.

That doesn't mean that exterior factors (like a supportive coach) don't play into the overall building of confidence, because they do. But at the end of the day, it comes down to you as the individual to believe in yourself and your abilities. 

To back track for a minute, the exterior factors that I'm referring to are having a positive and healthy support system surrounding you. That can include teammates, coaches, family, and friends. You need people in your life who have your back and are there to support you through the good and the bad. These things help build confidence. But, just to clarify again...these things are there to help build confidence, but aren't the ultimate reason you're confident.

You are confident because you know it and believe it deep down in your heart and mind.

So what's one thing you can do today to help build your confidence?

Focus on the small successes.

To often, we only focus on huge massive victories as the only real measures of success. Now, while these are absolutely beneficial to becoming more confident, they aren't sustainable enough to help us build our confidence everyday. 

Another way to think about it is that we can't win a state championship everyday...it's just not possible. 

However, we can (and we should) be working on our confidence everyday. 

It's amazing how much of a difference focusing on small things can help build your confidence up everyday. 

Things like blocking a shot, making a tape to tape pass, winning a 1 on 1 battle, taking a hit to make a play, having an active stick and breaking up a scoring opportunity... the list can go on and on but I hope this gives you a glimpse of what I'm talking about. 

Personally, I started to figure out this concept as I was getting out of high school. I used to be like most players where I solely based my 'did I play good or bad' on if I scored a goal or not. Man was that counterproductive...

I think the real turning point for me was when I got to Culver. We won a close game 3-2 where I scored a couple goals, including the game winner with only a few minutes left in the third period. 

I ended up having a conversation with our coach about the game the next day. He told me he thought I played really well. My initial gut reaction was that I agreed with him but I figured he said that just because I scored a couple goals.

But the more we talked, he never talked about either goal once. 

Instead, he talked about what he thought was a big turning point was when we were short handed late in the second period and I had a big shot block. To be honest, I had forgotten about the play until he brought it up. 

His second point that he brought up was another play that to most casual observers was lost in the mix. He talked about how on the backcheck on a play in the third period I read the play well and picked up their late third guy joining the rush and prevented him from being a scoring threat. 

Kind of crazy to think about, but those were the two things that stood out to him that I had played a good game. 

Needless to say, that conversation made an impact on the way I thought about the game, doing my job, and success in general. (I mean that conversation was 14 years ago and I still remember it...)

My perspective began to change on what was really important and what it really meant to contribute. In turn, my confidence continued to grow.

The more I started to focus on the small successes the more confident I became. Not only did it help me find more success on a consistent basis, it helped eliminate the roller coaster of emotion that sometimes plagues players who only focus on numbers. 

I really started to realize that being a good player, and more importantly a confident player, meant doing a lot more things than scoring goals. 

Once my thought process changed, it became easier to find positive things to focus on which in turn helped my confidence grow everyday. 

Hockey and life is all about making progress. If you can get 1% more confident everyday, I guarantee you'll start to notice a huge difference in your game.

So I am putting the challenge out there to all of you to start finding small little victories in everything you do...everyday. Do this in hockey and in life and your confidence will continue to grow. 

Do any of you currently do anything like this to help build your confidence?

Let me know in the comments below.

3 Ways To Prove You're A Good Teammate

Being a great teammate is an absolutely vital part of being a hockey player.

For all the coaches out there, I'm sure you've all stressed the importance of being a great teammate to your players. 

But, how many of us can honestly say that we have an entire team of great teammates?

Sadly, probably not many of us. 

With that being said, it is possible, and when it happens the results are amazing. In fact, I'm a big believer that having great teammates is often the deciding factor for the best teams. In other words, the teams that win championships are usually the teams that are filled with the best teammates. And, I'd even go as far to say that I believe this to be true even up through the highest levels of hockey. 

For me as a coach, there are three things that I look for in a player that shows what kind of teammate they are. 

I say shows because have you ever talked with a player who admitted they were a bad teammate? I've been around the game a long time as a player and coach and I'm yet to come across one... If you ask any player if they're a good teammate, they're all going to say that they are. So for me, the proof is in their actions. 

1. Do They Block Shots?

Maybe not what most of you were expecting for the first thing that I look for as a coach, but it's true. Blocking shots is simply hockey courage. It's willing to sacrifice your body for the rest of the group. It's potentially putting yourself, and your body, at risk for the betterment of the other 19 guys on the team. To me, it's the ultimate way to show your teammates how much you care. 

Besides scoring a goal, what do teams get most excited for on the bench during the game? A huge shot block. From a players perspective, it's a way to prove to your teammates that you're laying it all on the line. You'd be hard pressed to find a guy who's constantly sacrificing his body, day in and day out, that isn't highly respected by this teammates. 

On the flip side, think of how you feel when a teammate flamingos a shot, or is intentionally just a little too slow to try and get out to block that shot from the point... As a player, we all start to question where the commitment to the team really is. 

I can guarantee you this, the pain you feel from blocking a shot will never be as bad as the feeling of skating back to the bench after you had a chance to block a shot and didn't and the other team scored. 

Part of being a great teammate is putting the team first, and one of the best ways to show that is to 'eat' a few pucks from time to time. 

2. How Do You Celebrate On The Bench When A Teammate Scores?

As a coach, it's always one of the most interesting things to observe on the bench. How do guys on the bench react when your team scores?

Some of you might be surprised by this point, but if you've been around the game for a long time, and coached before, you know what I'm talking about. 

It almost seems like a crazy notion because we all naturally think that if our team scores we all should be excited and celebrate. If only that was true...

Great teammates celebrate every goal for there team. And you can tell it's a genuine excitement for the team. Because let's be honest, if you're a great teammate then it doesn't matter who scores, as long as it's someone on your team. 

Guys who aren't good teammates don't get excited for other guys when they're on the bench. They may give a subtle cheer, but usually their body language tells the real story. It's usually either a why wasn't that me or a if coach gave me that ice time I could score too... or it's something along the lines of man that was such a lucky play. 

The reality is, if you're a great teammate you don't care if it's a dangle, a rebound garbage goal, or luck. You're just excited that your team found a way to get one home. 

Once again, this is another one of those instances where body language tells a huge story. It's not only about saying the right things, but it's more about showing the right things. 

3. How Do You Respond When A Teammate Makes A Mistake On The Ice?

What's your first response when you see your teammate turn the puck over?

Are you the teammate that instantly is saying "COME ON..."or "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Or, are you that teammate who is looking around at the rest of the guys saying "we're alright" or "we'll get it back"; or at the next whistle skating over to that teammate and giving him a tap on the shin pads and saying "we're good, shake it off"?

When you read it that way, it's pretty easy to decipher who's a good teammate and who isn't. 

And now I'm sure that someone is going to comment or bring up the fact that some players only react the first way because they are competitive and care so much. 

To me, that answer (or shall I say excuse) is crap. Just because you are competitive and like to win doesn't give you the right to be a bad teammate. In fact, if that's how you react you're only hurting your team, not helping. 

If you're a good teammate, you realize that no one is perfect and mistakes happen. Hockey is a game built on mistakes. The team that can stick together through those mistakes, and pick each other up, is usually the team that will end up winning. 

What do you think of that list? Do you agree, or disagree?

These are just three different, or unusual, things that I look at as a coach that helps me understand who's a good teammate and who isn't. 

The other cool part to all three of these things (and that follows a trend we've been talking about in this blog) is that they take no talent to do.

I'll admit that blocking shots is definitely an art form, but the reality is that the biggest component to being great at blocking shots is simply having the hockey courage to throw your body in front of pucks and do whatever it takes for the team. 

But the truth is that all three of these points are a choice. They're a choice for each player to make. And the thing that I like most is that they are instantaneous. They aren't just asking someone a question and giving them the opportunity to make sure they say the 'right thing'. But rather, they are a gut reaction. They show the true colors and character of the individual. 

So after reading this, are you a great teammate?

The Truth About Tryouts

What can I say about tryouts other than they suck.

They suck for players, they suck for coaches...really they suck for anyone who has a vested interest in the team or player.

While on one hand it’s exciting because it’s the fresh start of a season, the actual tryout portion has always sucked.

As a player, it’s stressful.

There’s always that thought in the back of your mind of wondering what coaches are thinking and also trying to wonder where you fit in, if at all, with a team.

While I used to think tryouts were stressful as a player, they are even more stressful as a coach.

Regardless of what you think, or what some people say, it’s never easy to cut kids.

There’s also so much more that goes into tryouts besides judging someone’s ability or talent. For me, it’s always a constant battle to find the right players to fill the roles needed to have a successful team.

There really is no better way to say it then to quote Herb Brooks...”it’s not about picking the best players, it’s about picking the right ones.”

In other words, you don’t build a good hockey team with 20 guys that can score goals. You need all facets of the game covered. You obviously need skilled players, but you also need guys to play defense, kill penalties, be physical...and the list goes on.

There also needs to be the team dynamic.

Successful teams have a bond that is often hard to explain. It’s not that they always get along with each other, but I think the difference is that there’s a mutual respect amongst the players and a commitment to the same end goal. And each player is truly genuine in these feelings.

We all know that it’s one thing to say it but it’s another thing to say it, believe it, and actually do it.

With all that being said, I’ve always tried to keep the same perspective. Put the needs of the team ahead of the individual and don’t stress about trying to please everyone.

Trying to please everyone is a recipe for disaster. No matter what happens, someone’s always unhappy.

So for players, my advice for tryouts is to go in with the attitude of controlling what you can control. These include things like your work ethic, attention to details, and playing with a little sense of desperation in your game. Also, remember everything happens for a reason. So whether you make a team or not, learn something from and become a better person through it.

For coaches, go into tryouts with an open mind and a plan of what you need to build a successful team for the long haul. Taking extra top end talent might look good in the short term but is that really the best thing for your team to be peaking and playing it’s best at the playoffs?

And at the end of the day, always trust your gut. It’s crazy to think, but nearly every time I have trusted my gut, I feel like I have made the right decision. The ones that have come back to bite me are the times I went against what my gut was telling me.

The Importance Of Understanding Your Role In Hockey

As players get older and start playing on more competitive teams, things start to change. 

Ice time is no longer equal. 

Winning starts to be emphasized more. 

Different roles have to be filled by players in order to build a successful, and cohesive, team. 

Some people disagree with this thinking, some say they agree as long as there kid is still on the first line, and then there is the small minority who fully agrees with this reality. 

Personally, as long as it is age appropriate, I am 100% on board with this and think that being a part of a team that emphasizes those three ideas teaches a lot of valuable life lessons. 

The reality is that in the real world, life is not always fair. Someone is probably going to get a promotion or make more money than you at some point even though you think you deserve it more. 

I think that's one of the best lessons I ever learned throughout all my time in hockey. The importance of understanding your role and accepting it in order to make the group better. 

It's honestly a humbling and often difficult experience at first. 

Let's face it, we live in an often selfish, me-first, type of world these days. Sports and hockey are no different. 

Nearly everyone thinks that they should be on the first line, on the powerplay, and on the ice protecting the one goal lead late in the third. 

But the reality is, we all know that just isn't true. 

And here's the crazy part, THAT'S OK!!

We have this image in our head as hockey players that if we aren't the first line center then we aren't as good or important to our teams success. 

I'm here to tell you that is completely false. In fact, I would argue that you would have a hard time finding a really great hockey team at any level that didn't have a lot of depth, and role players, to go along with that top end talent. 

I look at some of the most successful teams I've ever coached. Those teams were recognized by outsiders because of a few of our top end offensive players, but when I look back at those teams I think about a couple of the stay at home defensemen who were so strong in our own zone and in front of our net. And I think about a few of the role players who's specialty became killing penalties and blocking shots. 

I'll be the first to admit, not the most glamorous jobs, but none the less absolutely vital to the success of our team. 

The reality is that you can't have four first line centers. You need to have that third line center who can shut down an opposing top offensive line and maybe occasionally chip in offensively. Just like you need that fourth line to be strong in the defensive zone and give you a few great shifts when the team needs it. 

I'm not saying that anyone should ever settle with their role, especially when still playing minor hockey. But, I am saying that you should embrace your role for whatever it is and make the most of it. You have to be able to look at it as doing your job and holding up your end of the bargain. 

For me, I have always related it to a wheel. Each player on the team is a different spoke on the wheel. When all 20 guys are doing their job, the wheel is strong and sturdy and rolls along smooth. When you have a few guys that aren't buying in, the wheel can still move and function, but it's not nearly as efficient. And when that road starts to get bumpy and tough, that's when that wheel will fail you. 

So whether you play every other shift or one shift a period, find a way to contribute. If you aren't getting a ton of ice time, be a great teammate. Encourage your teammates, pump them up, show them that you genuinely want them to succeed. I'm telling you that if you can learn to think this way you'll make it a hundred times further than if you don't. 

Remember that it takes all types to build a successful team. Make sure you're one of the spokes that's helping carry the weight.